A Tragic past does not define your present.

A Tragic past does not define your present. 

In our lives we all have tragic events that happen to us.  We have all experienced times in our lives that have been tragic and difficult to deal with.  In those moments of heartbreak and pain we find ourselves drowning in the pain.  We may find it hard to breath it shows on you physical self just as much as our emotional.  These times can be brought on by the actions of others and our expectations of those people and how they should act.  It can be a death in life that causes those times of hurt.  It can be so many different things that can cause these pains.  No matter what the reason for the tragedies we have in life we all have ways that we deal with those things and how we process that pain. 

Some people deal with those things very quickly and move to the next level in life.  Their happiness set point is at a point where they go back to being happy and have the confidence to move to that and process the pain.  Some are taught from an early age how to deal with setbacks and move forward and learn from them.  However some others are not taught these things in life and allow the hurts and pains define them for a very long time.  They allow the hurt to linger for so many reasons.  Some let it linger cause they would feel they betrayed the other if they moved on.  Some don’t have the confidence to move on.  Some allow others to control their emotions.  There again is so many reasons to hold on to pain. 

 With all that being said we should not allow our tragedy in the past to define what happens in our present.  We have all heard everything happens for a reason and that there are lessons in everything.  Those are both true but we have to learn the skills to find those lessons change our behavior and go to that next level in life.  So many of us get stuck in the pain and tragedy of life that we don’t get to see the beauty in life.  We believe our happiness is in the next vacation or in the next shopping trip.  We fail to heal our hearts and move forward to the next level.  I am learning myself how to deal with a lot of pain in my life that I have carried most my life.  Pain from parents and from family pain from events pain from death.  I know that I have to move forward and allow healing to happen as do all people if we are to move to the next amazing level life has to offer us. 

So what I want to know from my readers how do you deal with the pains from life?  What are you still holding on too?  You can contact me anyway you want if you want to share.  I will not share anything with anyone.  I am using the methods I have learned and I am enjoying seeing life for the joy and newness that it is.  I honestly think that the first step to healing in honesty about the situation and to stop placing blame on others.  Honesty and taking full responsibility for where you are in life are the things I think are so important to anyone’s happiness. 

So as I leave you I want you to think about the pain you are holding on too.  Why not just forgive?  Why not take responsibility for where you are in life and move forward instead of staying in the same place?  Are you living in the moment?  And are you being honest and authentic in everyday life? 

If you are not happy and holding pain ask yourself these questions.  Then move forward reach out to start the healing process take the first step.  Listen to a podcast. Call a friend. Ask for help. Anything to start the process of healing rolling. 

Is you past defining you?

Last night I spent time talking to the girlfriend about some of our past experiences and our family backgrounds.  As I found each of us sharing our past experiences it struck me how real all those things were to me again now that I was talking about them.  Things I don’t think about on a normal basis but when I did bring them to the front of my memory how they had shaped a lot of my actions in life.  We talked about parents about uncles and aunts.  It just came to me how much we don’t know about our past also.  It also got me to thinking about how much I wish I knew.  Everyone has a past some that we share with others and some that we don’t.  I wonder what some of my families truths were.  I wonder what type of people they were on the inside. 

These wonders are normal because the human heart wants to know where I came from.  What gave you your traits?  Who had blonde hair in your family?  Where did the curly hair come from?  All these different questions and some of us never find out the answer.  Some families are not as close as others.  I have family I would not even know if they were standing in front of me.  Some families have reunions every year.  Some never see each other until someone dies.  I have found both of these have positive and negative traits about them.  It is amazing to think that a lot of our happiness and habits is based on someone I have never met because they passed those traits and habits down. 

In the case of some of our inherited traits and attitudes we need to learn better ones if we are going to rise above where we started.  Most people born into a way of life stay in those habits all of their lives.  If you are born into a wealthy family you normally stay wealthy.  If you are born into poverty you normally don’t rise about poverty.  Why is this?  Most of the habits and attitudes we have in life are passed down from one generation to the next.

I don’t say these things to say you can’t rise above.  I am working in my life to rise about right now.  I am making some huge changes to rise above what I was taught.  But to make these changes I have to think and act different then I have before.   If you want to change your life you have to change the way you think first.  Then the universe will catch up.  I am working to change these things now.  It has been a slow process but I am making very good progress.  In the coming weeks I wanna share some of the mindset and action changes I had and are still making.  Please if you see a way you have had to change your habits to rise above please let me know. 

So with those things being said.  Think about your life and your habits.  Are they past down?  Are they serving your purpose in life?  And are you living in the moment in love or are you living in fear? 

Thank you again for reading.  Much love.  Nameste.