Expectations

I have written about expectations before.  I truly believe this is one of the biggest things in my life causes strife and misunderstanding.  I don't just see this in my life but i see it in others.  I see it in the friends that i know if their relationships not only with their loved ones but also with friends and family.

When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Ryan Reynolds

Its almost funny to me to think of all the suffering i have caused myself because the expectations i have set of other people they have never met.  They haven't met these mainly because I have not told them the expectations i have for them.  This seems to be a song that many people sing in their lives.  They say things like i am a nice person why cant't anyone treat me like i would treat them.  Or we say i would never hurt anyone how can they hurt me.  So we are holding people to the same standards we live our lives by.  Each person has standards and morals for their lives they live and we so often has human being try to control others into being like us without look at where the other person is or how they live their lives.  If i told you to go out to a forest and yell at a tree until it became a bear you would think i was crazy but we do that everyday with our minds and our actions toward other people. We yell at people in traffic because they don't have the manners driving that we do.  We get frustrated with our mates because we want them to react or do something for us and we never ask they are just suppose to know.  We force our thoughts and feeling to others to others for them to make us better.  We expect so much out of others in our lives to make us feel better and so many times we require nothing out of ourselves to find happiness.  We ask others to fulfill our needs in relationships and in life but never look inside of how we can make ourselves happier.  We give others the keys to our happiness and never tell them what would make us happy.  When we don't state our expectations in life and in relationships those expectations will never be met.  When have to have clear expectations on how we want things to go in life and state them clearly or we can never expect to achieve those things.
If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.

Norman Vincent Peale

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/expectations.html#IZGjQo5V5EyF5zs8.99

I truly hope this finds you well and that you enjoyed it.  Speak your expectations to others and to life.  Write them down what you want out of life and look at that each day so that you are focused on those things.  Never expect anyone to bring you happiness bring it with you.  We all have down times i have had my share and many of the friends that read this have gone though these times with me.  but when you are in those times you truly have a choice of what you expect to happen from it.  some times you need time to let things bleed.  But then you have to expect something better in life.  Set those and move toward them.  Even if just a little bit each and everyday.

World smile day

World smile day

Today is one of my favorite days of the year.  World smile day. 

I know that a lot of people don’t even know about this day. It was always cool to me.  As most of you know my father owned a store for many years called the happy shack.  It was about spreading the message and love of the smiley among other things.  This is where I learned of smile day and what it means.  It is about doing acts of kindness to spread smiles around the world.  I love this thought this concept.  Nothing needs to be said when a smile is on your face.  It speaks loudly and proudly.  I truly believe this is one of the world’s most beautiful things seeing others smile. 

This smile day is different for me however.  As many of you know I had major dental work done this past year before which I had a broken front tooth.  This issue with the tooth kept me from smiling fully and held me back in my happiness.  Getting that fixed and investing in myself really went a long way in my happiness and in my peace.  So this is the first world smile day I can wear my smile loud and proud in a very long time.  For some this may not seem like much but this is a huge thing for me.  SO this is the first smile day in a long time I can celebrate and enjoy with a big smile on my face. 

So today wear a smile for the world to see.  Do an act of kindness to bring a smile to someone’s face. 

 

The test

The Test

Well some of you may know that today was a big day for Eddie.  It was a test that was for all to marbles so to say.  If I passed the test then I kept my job and could move forward.  If I failed the test I would be unemployed and starting all over.  It was a pretty big risk in my eyes.  I felt a lot of anxiety going into it.  I had help from loved ones that I looked over.  I had plenty of time to study and was able to know the material very well.  But I also learned a lot of lessons though this test about myself and also about my relationships with this planet. 

The test was something that was harder in my mind then it actually was.  I built it up to be this big thing that if I failed life would end.  I was wrong on that point.  I felt if I failed my girl would leave me I would be homeless.  But as most of you know the things we worry about mostly never come true.  God gave us this amazing imagination and I used it to imagine all the ways that things could go wrong.  I had drawn up all kinds of ways that things could go wrong.  I have done this a lot in my life with just about everything.  I find the reasons to say no in life not to say yes.  Find the reasons to fail not the reasons why I am going to win.  I know that I am not alone in this.  I have an amazing imagination and pointed in the right direction could help me create an amazing life.  If the visions and imagination were pointed to the positive then more positive would happen. 

I have learned more than just insurance from this test.  I have learned about faith.  When I say that word most think of religion.  Yes that can be a source of your faith but that is not the type of faith I am talking about.  Faith is defined at the evidence of things unseen things hoped for.  Most people think of faith as a positive thing and that is always pointed toward good things.  But it isn’t.  Faith can also be given to the negative side of life and faith will still be the evidence of things unseen but for a negative purpose.   Faith can give us the negative along with the positive that all depends on us and our focus.  If we focus on the negative then we will receive it in return.

“A negative mind and never produce a positive life.”

Dalia lama

So we must train our minds to lean to the positive in life.  To look for things that can go right not things that can go wrong.  When a situation happens in life look at how the universe is helping us not hurting us. 

Long time no post

Well it has been a long time I posted in eddavate.  It has been a time of expansion and honestly i have been horrible with my time management.

Where i have been and where i am going are amazingly different.  I have the time hop app.  I have watched my posts from the past few years and been amazed at how much i have grown and how well i can handle things now.  it is amazing what a human can change if they control their minds.  I tend to let my mind run wild. I tend to take any situation and let it go to the negative of that subject.  that i letting my mind run the show.  Thoughts control what comes in and out of our lives.  When we focus on the negative that we have we continue to receive the negative because the field of possible thinks this is what we want.  If we want better things for our lives we must focus on the positive we have.  That is why gratitude is so important.  we can take an amazing relationship and ruin it with negative thoughts and fear.  We can act in either fear or love.  That is the choice we truly have in life.  Act in fear or love.  So many times we fear losing someone or something in our lives.

I am done for this short eddavate.  i will be writing more and i hope you are well.  

A Tragic past does not define your present.

A Tragic past does not define your present. 

In our lives we all have tragic events that happen to us.  We have all experienced times in our lives that have been tragic and difficult to deal with.  In those moments of heartbreak and pain we find ourselves drowning in the pain.  We may find it hard to breath it shows on you physical self just as much as our emotional.  These times can be brought on by the actions of others and our expectations of those people and how they should act.  It can be a death in life that causes those times of hurt.  It can be so many different things that can cause these pains.  No matter what the reason for the tragedies we have in life we all have ways that we deal with those things and how we process that pain. 

Some people deal with those things very quickly and move to the next level in life.  Their happiness set point is at a point where they go back to being happy and have the confidence to move to that and process the pain.  Some are taught from an early age how to deal with setbacks and move forward and learn from them.  However some others are not taught these things in life and allow the hurts and pains define them for a very long time.  They allow the hurt to linger for so many reasons.  Some let it linger cause they would feel they betrayed the other if they moved on.  Some don’t have the confidence to move on.  Some allow others to control their emotions.  There again is so many reasons to hold on to pain. 

 With all that being said we should not allow our tragedy in the past to define what happens in our present.  We have all heard everything happens for a reason and that there are lessons in everything.  Those are both true but we have to learn the skills to find those lessons change our behavior and go to that next level in life.  So many of us get stuck in the pain and tragedy of life that we don’t get to see the beauty in life.  We believe our happiness is in the next vacation or in the next shopping trip.  We fail to heal our hearts and move forward to the next level.  I am learning myself how to deal with a lot of pain in my life that I have carried most my life.  Pain from parents and from family pain from events pain from death.  I know that I have to move forward and allow healing to happen as do all people if we are to move to the next amazing level life has to offer us. 

So what I want to know from my readers how do you deal with the pains from life?  What are you still holding on too?  You can contact me anyway you want if you want to share.  I will not share anything with anyone.  I am using the methods I have learned and I am enjoying seeing life for the joy and newness that it is.  I honestly think that the first step to healing in honesty about the situation and to stop placing blame on others.  Honesty and taking full responsibility for where you are in life are the things I think are so important to anyone’s happiness. 

So as I leave you I want you to think about the pain you are holding on too.  Why not just forgive?  Why not take responsibility for where you are in life and move forward instead of staying in the same place?  Are you living in the moment?  And are you being honest and authentic in everyday life? 

If you are not happy and holding pain ask yourself these questions.  Then move forward reach out to start the healing process take the first step.  Listen to a podcast. Call a friend. Ask for help. Anything to start the process of healing rolling. 

Is you past defining you?

Last night I spent time talking to the girlfriend about some of our past experiences and our family backgrounds.  As I found each of us sharing our past experiences it struck me how real all those things were to me again now that I was talking about them.  Things I don’t think about on a normal basis but when I did bring them to the front of my memory how they had shaped a lot of my actions in life.  We talked about parents about uncles and aunts.  It just came to me how much we don’t know about our past also.  It also got me to thinking about how much I wish I knew.  Everyone has a past some that we share with others and some that we don’t.  I wonder what some of my families truths were.  I wonder what type of people they were on the inside. 

These wonders are normal because the human heart wants to know where I came from.  What gave you your traits?  Who had blonde hair in your family?  Where did the curly hair come from?  All these different questions and some of us never find out the answer.  Some families are not as close as others.  I have family I would not even know if they were standing in front of me.  Some families have reunions every year.  Some never see each other until someone dies.  I have found both of these have positive and negative traits about them.  It is amazing to think that a lot of our happiness and habits is based on someone I have never met because they passed those traits and habits down. 

In the case of some of our inherited traits and attitudes we need to learn better ones if we are going to rise above where we started.  Most people born into a way of life stay in those habits all of their lives.  If you are born into a wealthy family you normally stay wealthy.  If you are born into poverty you normally don’t rise about poverty.  Why is this?  Most of the habits and attitudes we have in life are passed down from one generation to the next.

I don’t say these things to say you can’t rise above.  I am working in my life to rise about right now.  I am making some huge changes to rise above what I was taught.  But to make these changes I have to think and act different then I have before.   If you want to change your life you have to change the way you think first.  Then the universe will catch up.  I am working to change these things now.  It has been a slow process but I am making very good progress.  In the coming weeks I wanna share some of the mindset and action changes I had and are still making.  Please if you see a way you have had to change your habits to rise above please let me know. 

So with those things being said.  Think about your life and your habits.  Are they past down?  Are they serving your purpose in life?  And are you living in the moment in love or are you living in fear? 

Thank you again for reading.  Much love.  Nameste.  

Pearls of Wisdom

Becoming a beautiful Pearl

I learned something about pearls the other day.  I think we would all agree pearls are a very beautiful creation of nature.  One of the most beautiful things that you can give a loved one.  Most pearls are passed down from mothers to daughters.  These are held very precious in families.  Pearls are created because the sand irritates the clam and as a way to cope with that pain the clam creates a layer of enamel to smooth the sand out.  This over time creates what we know as a pearl.   In the bible jesus talked about a man selling all he had for a pearl of great beauty. 

Pearls are created by hardship on the clam.  I think that we become pearls over our lives.  When we have troubles and harsh times come our way we find ways to cope we find ways to rise above these things and become better to become more beautiful.  Over a life time we create coverage of our hurts and pains.  The beauty we experience in life comes from some of our roughest times.  When I look back at my hardships I see that I needed each and every one of them to be who I am today.  The blessings I have in my life are from the lessons I learned from each and every hardship.  So when you are going through the hardships that we must look for the lessons.  We must find that in every difficult thing in life there is a positive takeaway when we find this we can move to our next level of beauty and happiness.  Creating a beautiful life is about understanding that hardships will come but you alone control how you handle them and when you move on. 

I hope that my writings find you well.  I have not been writing lately due to not having internet.  Thank you again for reading.